#i do not base my life around hannibal

[begun-to-blur]

someone pls recommend me a tv show … i should not rewatch hannibal and interview with a vampire again

[godblooded]

big write up on how my rhaegar is my own interpretation (and how behind i am on westerosi literature) coming soon to a dash near you.

[graciereadshannigram]

re: sex, power, and hannigram (the bees in my head have struck again)

y'all know the quote, everything in the world is about sex, except sex – sex is about power? Will, someone who has been consistently denied agency and power in his life especially by Hannibal, and Hannibal, a man who has kept himself under such strict control around other people, despite desperately craving true connection to another person – sex would be a natural extension and exploration of these pre-existing dynamics. 

Will and Hannibal’s entire relationship is based on their emotional and intellectual connection as they play this cat and mouse game where the power dynamics are fluid and unstable! the mental arousal they provide one another is an integral part of their connection. and that’s what attracts and excites them! and you know what increased psychological arousal leads to (or at the very least, enhances)? physical arousal!! 

which brings me to my next point: we know that Will is mentally aroused by the prospect of both saving and taking lives (s/o to our boy Chilton, man was a rat, but he was right!) because doing bad things to bad people feels good. 

so when Will finally Becomes by killing the dragon with Hannibal and they start exploring how they kill together, of course bloodlust and regular old lust are going to start blurring. not because either of them are sexual sadists who get off on the act of murdering someone, but instead on the power they each hold over death, the thrill of being truly seen and accepted by the other. 

not to mention the fact that sex provides an outlet for some of their more destructive urges, as well as a way to rebuild trust and psychological safety, two things they haven’t really had much of?? which is not to say that i believe everything they’d do would be safe, sane, or consensual, but i do think they’d be providing each other with what they each authentically need to move forward with one another. 

basically, i'm trying to say Hannibal tried his own brand of therapy on Will and look where it got them. i think the next logical progression would be sex as therapy and therapy as sex.

[specialagentlokitty]

Hannibal lector x teen!reader - I would notice

Is it possible to have a continuation of 'i would notice'? Bc that fic was scrumptious and I need to see reader happy and healthy with Hannibal 😭 - Anon💜

Part two:

You resumed your therapy on a non official basis, your parents weren’t billed for the sessions like usual, Hannibal would make the time to either go to your school, your home or occasionally to some cafe.

Hannibal had come to the agreement with you that he would meet you twice a week, and if you felt the thoughts getting the better of you then you would call him no matter the time of day.

He also insisted on checking your arms for any injuries and relied on you to tell him the truth about if you had inflicted any wounds elsewhere.

You were laid upside down on your couch while Hannibal read over the letter that you had given him.

“You refuse to go to your progression meeting? Think about college or university?” He asked.

“I don’t see the point, plus the letter insists on bringing my parent or parents with me and yeah considering they’re in a whole different country that might be a bit hard.”

He hummed a little bit, setting the letter down and he looked at you.

“Do sit up, all that blood rushing directly to your brain won’t do you any good.”

You sighed, swinging yourself back around so you were sitting up.

“Are you interested in perusing a higher education?”

“I haven’t really thought about it I guess…”

“You hadn’t thought about making it past your teenage years?”

You shook your head and he nodded in understanding.

“Well, we have some time, why don’t you take a moment to think about this. What do you want to do in your life?”

You went quiet as you thought about his question.

“I guess I want to help people somehow.”

“A doctor? A therapist?”

You shook your head.

“No. There jobs my parents want me to have, I don’t want them.”

“Well, perhaps you should consider going to this meeting, see what your options are based on your grades at the moment.”

“No thanks, I’ll pass.”

Hannibal sighed heavily.

“Will you attend this meeting if I were to ask nicely?” He asked.

“Nope.”

“Why not?”

“I’ll be the only student there without a parent or guardian, that’s gonna make me the laughing stock of my whole grade.”

“Just consider it, I would like you to go there tomorrow, trust me.”

Hannibal checked his watch and stood up.

“I have an appointment soon, so I must be going but do consider staying for the meeting for me, see what options there are available for your future.”

You got up to see him out, but never gave him a response.

You were supposed to still be on summer break, but you found yourself wondering the school halls as you debated actually going to this meeting.

It was supposed to be the last one before senior year, anybody who hadn’t gone to any of the meetings were going to start getting pulled aside in following year.

The meeting would help clear up some doubts you were having on your future and you knew that, but you didn’t want to go alone, so you closed your locker.

You began making your way towards the exit, and last minute changed your course to step into the classroom where other students and parents were.

“Well, look who finally came. I was hoping you would.” Your teacher smiled.

You gave a small smile back, walking over.

“Hey Daniels, I was wondering if maybe I could just get a few leaflets and go.”

He nodded, picking up a few leaflets and some other things.

“Take it I can’t encourage you to stay?” He asked.

“Nah, plus it looks like you’ve got a pretty full room anyways.”

He chuckled a little.

“All last minute, just like you. But you’ve still got time to decide so don’t panic about it.”

“I won’t, thanks.”

You stuffed them into your bag and swung it over your shoulder, turning to head to the door and you nearly collided with someone walking through.

“I hope I’m not late, there was a great deal of traffic on the way here.”

You took a few steps back.

“Doctor lector?”

He smiled as he saw you, taking his scarf off.

“You came, although I assume I caught you just as you were leaving?”

You nodded.

“Well, since we’re both here why don’t we take a seat?”

You sat at the back of the classroom with him, setting all the leaflets you had gotten on the table.

“Have you thought about how far you want to travel?” Hannibal asked.

“I don’t really want to go too far, I want to stay somewhere semi familiar.”

“Alright, in that case we’ll take these ones away.”

He took a few of the leaflets away, and picked up one of the others, talking you though it and comparing all of the colleges and universities for you.

“Well, you are interested in animals, perhaps something in that industry?”

You gasped, lightly hitting the table a few times in excitement.

“Zookeeper!! Or.. or.. or ranch owner!” You whisper yelled.

Hannibal chuckled a little, smiling softly at you, and he set a couple of leaflets down in the table for you.

“Well, you still have your senior year ahead of you, but perhaps we can think of visiting a few of these universities, see what they have to offer for you.”

“Aren’t you like real busy or something?”

“I do have spare time, if need be I can make the time.”

You nodded a little bit, looking through one of the leaflets, showing him one of the pictures.

“This one has monkeys, and it’s near a zoo I could do work experience.”

“Well then, I think we should arrange a visit to this university and see all they have to offer, don’t you?”

You quickly nodded your head.

“How do we do that?”

“I’ll handle all of that no need to worry at all.”

You smiled a little at him, and you pulled another bit of paper from your bag, handing it over to him.

“What’s this?”

“Well, we get to decorate our parking spots, this is what I wanna do with mine.”

“This will take you all day.”

“Yup!”

You beamed at Hannibal and he handed the paper back to you, gesturing to the front of the room so you could pay attention.

When the meeting was over, Hannibal dropped you off back home.

“Shall I meet you here tomorrow?” Hannibal asked.

“Nah, it’s okay. I’ll see you next week doctor Lector, and I uh.. thank you for coming to the meeting.”

He smiled at you, making his way back to his car.

You wanted to get an early start on decorating your parking space, and you placed a sheet down that you could sit while you did it.

It was still early in the day, there weren’t many students there, but all of them were doing the same thing as you, getting an early start.

You were sitting with headphones on while you worked, but you did notice a shadow over you, so you tilted your head up.

“Doctor lector!”

You smiled, pushing your headphones down and you moved over so he could sit next to you.

“I happened to find myself with the day free, so I thought I would come check on your progress.”

“I’ve got to wait for the top to dry, so I’m working on the background for now.”

Hannibal nodded his head, and he looked at the paints that you were using.

“You’ve changed your idea a little bit.”

“Yeah, I thought a forest scene would be a lot nicer you know?”

He hummed a little bit, handing you a green paint, taking the one you already had next to you.

“Try this one, it would capture the essence of the pine trees, make them look more alive.”

“I didn’t think of that.”

You changed the shade of green you were using, and Hannibal took a paintbrush to help you, following the outline that you had made.

“Do you paint or something doctor lector?”

“I believe everybody should divulge into the arts in some way another, it can help clear one’s mind, find them peace.”

You nodded your head.

“You seemed to be rather adepts at painting.”

“My parents made me take art classes as a kid, I guess I just really enjoyed it because I kept painting. I lost interest a while back, but I thought maybe I should pick it up again.”

“Why was that?”

“You.”

“Me?”

Hannibal looked at you slightly confused and you smiled a little at him.

“Yeah, you taught me it was important to keep my interests, especially if I want to clear my mind. Painting really helps.”

“And visiting the pet store?”

“They have really cute puppies?” You grinned a little.

Hannibal chuckled, and he smiled at you, turning his attention back to the painting.

“I am glad to see that you’re becoming much happier, have you considered getting a pet? For company that is, that way you are not alone.”

“I was thinking about it, but I don’t know, I don’t wanna buy one you know?”

“Have you thought about adopting one? I have a friend who has done the same, I could ask him to come with us if you’d like?”

“Yeah! Oh my god I want to find a really adorable dog!”

Hannibal chuckled again.

“Well, considered it settled then. I shall get into contact with Will, I’ll arrange a date and a time, we will go to a few rescues until you find a perfect dog.”

You and Hannibal carried on working on your parking spot, he showed you how to blend the colours to look more natural, and he did the more intricate details for you.

When you were finished you put your hand into the paint tin, and you pulled it out, grinning at him.

“What are you planning?” He mused.

You stamped your hand on the bottom of your parking space, and wrote you name underneath, then wiped your hand on your jeans.

“(Y/N), don’t do that come now, you’ll never get that out.”

Hannibal handed you a cloth, and you used that instead, just grinning at him.

He stood up, and looked at your forest themed parking spot, trees, birds, blue skies, sunlight through the trees, a stag in the middle of them all, and an owl sitting on the branch.

“Why an owl?” You asked.

“Well, because they protest wisdom, a thing I believe you have a lot off.”

“Haha very funny.”

“It’s true, you’re a smart person (Y/N), with a lot of wonderful ideas for this world, and I for one look forward to seeing you grow into a wonderful adult.”

You smiled at him.

Hannibal gestured to paint.

“May I?”

You nodded and he brushed some paint on to his hand, and he printed his hand print next to yours, signing his name underneath.

He cleaned his hand on a cloth, and he stood next to you.

“Now this is truly a work of art.” He said.

“Can we go look at dogs now?”

“Well, everywhere is closed to the public, however Will has agreed for you to come to his home and meet his dogs, would you be alright with that?”

You quickly nodded your head and rushed to pack everything away.

“Careful now, we don’t want to ruin your hard work, you spent all day on that.”

“Right! Right! Carefully.”

Hannibal helped you out everything into your car.

“Go home and change, I’ll be there shortly to come get you.”

You beamed brightly from ear to ear and he smiled at you, opening your car door so you could get in.

You drove back home to wash the pain off and change into some fresh clothes, and you were practically bouncing with happiness as you waited for Hannibal to come back.

The moment you saw his car you were running down the driveway, and he chuckled, getting out of his car to open the passenger door for you.

“Does Will have a lot of dogs? Can we get them treats?”

You carried on rambling questions for him, and he just smiled, finally seeing you with a spark of life, a spark of happiness

[hannibals-favourite-meal]

Thunder shield, that’s it that’s the request. You can do it/ have it anyway you want haha 💗

.⋆｡Just A Warm-Up｡⋆.

Thundershield x plus size reader

Steve wants to play while Thor’s away and you’re just along for the ride

Warnings: this isn’t full on smut but it’s still smut, cockwarming, d/s dynamics, sub!reader, switch!steve (he’s also a bit of a brat), dom!thor, little degradation, implied m/m smut

WC: 889

Minors DNI

Library- @hannibals-favourite-meal-library

When Steve raised a single dark blond eyebrow at you an hour ago, you knew that your simple afternoon of doing laundry and watching your favourite trashy reality show was going to be thrown out the window in favour of his devious idea.

“You know we’re gonna get in trouble right?” You had told him as his thick fingers pulled at the waistband of your sweatpants after he made himself comfortable on your couch.

He looked up at you with a smirk. “Not if you listen to what I tell you to do.”

So now here you were, on one of your boyfriends’ lap, trying as hard as you could to watch the documentary he had put on but with your mind already going fuzzy around the edges, it was incredibly hard. 

You shifted on his lap but suddenly, Steve’s large hands were on your hips, keeping you completely still. “I told you not to fidget.” He chastised you. A shameful heat crawled up your neck and you could only whine.

“Sorry Captain.” He smiled at you and granted a single kiss to your cheek.

“Good girl. Now, Thor should be home soon and I don’t think he would appreciate that we’re playing without him so stay still.” You nodded and forced your body to relax back into his strong chest, laying your head on his shoulder where the smell of his cologne was most prominent.

Steve readjusted the blanket that was draped over both your legs, pulling it up so it now lay across your waist, completely concealing your lower half. 

And right on time, the front door opened and a booming voice called out- “My loves! I have returned!”

Steve gave you another firm warning in the form of a pinch to your naked thigh before he called back. “We’re in the living room!” 

Thundering footsteps echoed through the house as Thor hurried to get to you. “You would not believe the day that I have had, first Loki tricked me… again! But do not fret, my wound shall heal soon- what are you doing?”

His massive body easily filled the doorframe, his blue eyes squinting at the pair of you. While you were scrambling to find some excuse as to why you were in this situation, Steve threw his arm over the back of the couch, a smirk still painted on his face. 

“We’re just having a cuddle and watching a movie, isn’t that right doll.” You nodded eagerly in response, letting out a sigh of relief as Thor’s eyes brightened once more, seemingly content with his answer.

“Well, then the Spider boy showed me this new trick he learned and I-“ But his words went in one ear and out the other as Steve readjusted below you, forcing his thick cock even deeper inside you and it took all of your willpower not to moan.

He hissed through his teeth as you clamped down on him. Your fingers curled into your palm in some desperate attempt to keep yourself from moving or moaning or even breathing wrong but evidently, it wasn’t enough.

Before you could stop it, a whine escaped your lips, immediately silencing your godly boyfriend and making the man beneath you inhale sharply. The game was up.

The blanket easily slid away from your laps, exposing exactly what was happening to your shared boyfriend. Your soft legs were spread apart by Steve’s thick thighs, keeping you open enough for his cock to be comfortably nestled in your dripping cunt to keep him warm. Already, his blue jeans were stained almost black from your wetness and a ring of creamy white gathered at the base of his cock.

Neither of you moved, the gravity of the situation now making itself apparent as Thor’s expression darkened and his own jeans grew considerably tighter as his cock came to life.

“I will give you both one chance to explain yourselves before I start to think of ways to punish you for playing without my permission.” Steve’s cock throbbed inside of you and you shot him a glare.

“Masochist.” You hissed under your breath but evidently, both men heard you.

Thor’s eyes locked onto you. “How about you start princess- tell me the truth.”

But before you could answer, Steve had decided that he wanted to play even more. “She’s just warming me up so that I could fuck you when you got home. I mean, that is what she’s here for.” You curled into yourself, not because you were hurt by what he said but because you knew what was coming next.

Moving too quick to comprehend, you were suddenly suspended in the air and then tucked into the chest of your god. And with barely any time to wince at the emptiness you now felt, Thor’s fly was open and his own cock prodded at your entrance. 

“Yes you did have a warm-up, but not for you.” You cried out as he sank you down onto him, easily taking him to the hilt even with his massive size considering how Steve had already stretched you enough to take him. “She’s going to get the fucking of a lifetime while you just watch. And then-“

Steve swallowed thickly, his hand now inching towards his own aching length. “Then, I’ll be warmed up enough to take you.” 

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[simping-overload]

ꜱᴏᴍᴏɴᴇ ᴛᴏ ʜᴏʟᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ ᴄʟᴏꜱᴇ

notes: I revive myself with a Frederick fic. I've been itching to put out. Might be ooc blame it on the drugs. I'm messing around with my writing style, so pardon any inconsistencies <3

This work is part of a series of mine based on the "Being Alive" song in the musical company. The 2006 one specifically with Raúl Esparza!!

tags: post s2, ansgt, frederick cries, cuddles, not in an official relationship, but they act like they are. Gn reader no pronouns or gender mentioned.

synopsis: You haven't been able to see Frederick for weeks—not after Miriam Las pointed the finger to him being the Chesapeake Riper. Which was bull. When the tension died down, you finally managed to slip past and pay the shrink and visit.

Ao3 link // 1,846 words

ヾthis is a multi-fandom blog that is designed for mlm/nbmlm identifying readers! so if you're female or fem please do not follow or interact with my mlm related post!! you will be blocked if you do not heed this warning ゛

The last few weeks have been the most boring moments of your life, being drowned in paperwork and not having your lovely shrink friend to pick on and bother.

When you finally managed to get caught up on your paperwork, you took the rest of the day off, claiming you were feeling under the weather.

You were actually picking up some things for Frederick, an expensive box of chocolate truffles, a few books filled with boring psychology studies, and a change of clothes. You remember the last time he was in the hospital, he whined constantly about how the gown ichtes his skin.

When you walked into the hospital, it was quiet, not another soul to be seen aside from the staff. Which was great since you won't have to worry about anyone snitching on you.

You approach the desk, setting your bags on the floor to let your arms relax.

"Hi, I'm here to see Frederick Chilton. I'm a friend of his." You tell the receptionist who eyes you up in down before typing away at their keyboard.

"Sorry, but he's not accepting any visitors."

This makes you frown. How badly did the feds interrogate him to make him close off his visitation.

"Can you just call and tell him that (Y/N) is here? He'll want to see me." You lean against your fist, giving them a pleading look.

They relent, dialing the number to Fredericks room. A few momments later and exchanging a few words, they hang up the phone.

"Well, you're all set. He's in room 3V, all the way down the hall and make two rights he'll be on the left."

You smile, grabbing your bags and leaving with a thank you

You knock on the door thrice, opening it once you hear a muffled 'come in'.

Frederick lays on his side, facing sway from the door and clutching a pillow to his chest.

You shut the door with a soft click, setting the bags on the most uncomfortable looking chairs you've seen before walking over to the side of his bed.

"Hey Freds." You say softly, crouching down to his level so he wouldn't have to move. You lean against the bed with your hands folded.

He looks like shit, but better than you'd thought he'd be, giving you a slight relief. You know the injuries could've turned out much worse.

His hair is grown out, more than he'd usually allow himself. You brush the hair back and out of his face.

Frederick sighs at your familiar and comfortable touch. "What are you doing here? I figured Jack forbade you from visiting."

You chuckle, gently dragging your nails across his scalp, "Oh he did. Even had someone tail me for the first few weeks to make sure I didn't see you. Then he proceeded to drown me in paperwork as if that'd stop me." Jack always did underestimate your determination.

Frederick smirks, proud at your defiance. "Then I assume Hannibal didn't manage to manipulate you into thinking I'm the riper, hm?"

"Obviously. How the hell would someone on a low meat and sodium diet be cannibal. Plus, you're already crippled—" Frederick face twitches when you called him crippled. "—with the cane. It just doesn't make sense." You huff, no one in the FBI has critical thinking skills anymore.

Frederick sighs in relief. He knew you were smart, but with how much of a master manipulator Hannibal is, he was worried he'd get you to turn on him, too.

"Good…" He trails off, eyes drifting to the bags. His face lits up seeing a very familiar chocolate company logo, Lindt Lindor.

His eyes snap back up to you, "Give me those truffles." He demands.

You chuckle, "Nuh uh, I got to make sure with your doctor that you can eat them. How about we get you changed instead?" You pat Fredericks good cheek, enjoying how cute he looks when he pouts. Stepping away, you go to grab the clothing.

"You have some audacity to tempt me. I swear once I'm recovered, I'm going to skin you alive."

"We both know you wouldn't cause you wouldn't have anyone else to get you your limited edition truffles."

You take the clothing out of the bag. It was a pair of silk PJs, the only kinds he'd wear, a few pairs of boxers and socks.

You place the clothes on the edge of the hospital bed, "I know how much you hate hospital gowns, so I got you stuff to change into. I can help you change into these, or can you do it yourself."

"I'm a grown man. I change myself. I'll call you back once I'm done, now shoo." He waves you off, using the nearby remote to move the bed into a sitting position. He painfully groans when he pushes himself off the bed, even though he is only shot in the face, the pain manged to spread, reaching his entire body.

He doesn't change until you step outside. He moves his legs to hang over the side of the bed, shimming the hospital issued gown and boxers off.

He grabs the pair of boxers, slipping them off before doing the same with the socks. He doesn't trust himself to try to stand on his own since he was bedridden for the last week.

He tugged the pants on, enjoying the way the silk felt against his skin. He ties the strings into a nice bow before grabbing the shirt.

He slips it on, minding the wires attached to his arm. He looks down to button it. He sees the scar on his abdomen. He lets out a shakey breath when his fingers graze over it. The memories of that night come rushing back like a tidial wave.

He quickly pushes the thoughts from his mind and finshes buttoning that shirt. He folds his old clothing and leaves it neatly placed at the edge of the bed.

"You can come in now."

When you enter, you aren't alone. His assigned doctor and her protogee follow in suit. he glances at the clock - 12:00 P.M. - the time for his midday check-up.

"Dr. Prescott, Dr. Harring. Hello." He gives them a tight-lipped smile. He wasn't in the mood for seeing anyone other than you at the moment.

"Mr. Chilton, we're just here for your routine checkup. Since you seem to have company, we'll make sure to be quick. Now, Dr. Harring." She pushes the younger doctor forward, letting him take the lead on the check-up as she rights down notes.

It was quick, simple, and uncomfortable. Whenever Dr. Harring touches his face he cringes in pain, and slight disgust at his oily hands.

After a bit, the doctor finally pulls away from him, "Looks like everything is good! You're recovering quite well, Mr. Chilton. You'll be outta here in no time!"

Frederick fakes a smile. He knows he's stuck here. He won't be let out until the trial or until the charges are dropped.

Dr. Prescott ushers the other out of the room, and before she leaves, she looks back at Frederick, "And yes, you can eat those truffles but only 3. I don't want to risk it getting stuck in there." She says before stepping out of the room and shutting the door behind her.

Frederick gives you a knowing look when he glances between the back and you. You head over to the bag, digging through to find his favorites. Dark Chocolate Raspberry. He loves these concerning amount, even has a jar filled with them in his office. No one is allowed to touch, not even you.

He takes (snatches) them out of your hand, moaning in delight as he pops one in his mouth, enjoying the flavor on his tongue.

His thoughts begin to drift off as he thinks about his situation. He doesn't know what he's going to do with himself. Prison will be hell on earth for him, especially since he's crippled.

His reputation itself will be destroyed. He'd lose all his assets, his so-called friends, and whatever family he has left that actually still cares about him. By the time he gets out, he will have nothing. He won't have you.

The one person who sticks around him not just for his money or to raise their status. You're someone who actually likes him, sticking with him even with his asshole snob behavior that would have most people leaving without a second thought.

You actually listened to him, talked to him, and respected him. Even when he tried to push you away, you always came back. He doesn't want to lose you.

You notice Frederick drifting off, getting lost in his thoughts. His eyes downcasted with a far-off look. Bringing your hand to his chin, you lift his head back

"Hey… Are you okay?" You rub your finger on the underside of his chin, trying to get him to focus on you.

He owlishly blinks at you, coming back to reality he pulls away from your hand, leaning back against the bed.

"I'm fine." He huffs, popping another chocolate in his mouth.

You squint at him. You've known him for long enough to tell when he's lying.

"No, you're not. Scoot over." You slip your shoes off before slipping under the covers next to him.

You reach over, grabbing the bed remote to make the bed lay flat.

"What are you doing." He questions, scooting over reluctantly.

"We are going to cuddle and talk about our feelings. You know I hate when you hide things that bother you." You wrap your arms around him, pulling him to lay comfortably on your chest as you run your hands through his hair.

He huffs against you but doesn't say anything. Silently enjoying the way your hands feel, melting into your touch.

"I'm serious, Frederick. Tell me what's wrong."

This makes Frederick sigh. He doesn't ever like talking about his issues.

"If I get convicted, I'm done for. I lose everything I have." I'll lose you, he wants to say, but those words die in his throat. He buries his face into your shirt and sucks in a breath. He can feel tears stinging his one good eye. He hated crying.

"Not everything. I'm still here. I will always be here." You reassure him, and his body shakes as he begins to sob.

You rub his back, trying to soothe him, "C'mere baby." Pulling him up more, you take his scared face into your hand, wiping his tears away.

"I'll stick with you through everything. I'll get you a lawyer and a P.I., I'm not going to let them convict you." It's a promise that you're willing to take to the grave.

He doesn't respond and just cries harder. You rest his head into the crook of your neck, pressing soothing kisses to his temple as he cries himself to sleep.

You press a kiss to his temple, none of this was fair and you were going to be damn sure he gets the justice he deserves.

[mister-tom-a-dildo-lover]

Just a random thought I had.

I've been spending a lot of time recently going over what I know about myself and my behaviors and the way I have existed my entire life, and have been slowly coming to terms with the fact that I probably have undiagnosed Autism(and ADHD) and I will never have the money to get a proper diagnosis for this because being able to get to just a regular doctor is a luxury that I do not have.

As such, I have been putting all of my interests into perspective and thinking more clearly about the characters I like in the pieces of fiction I like and trying to draw similarities between them and how they behave, compared to me and how I behave.

This brought me to Tom Riddle, clearly. I've always been big into HP and it's influenced my fandom journey heavily. I've gotten into fandoms just because someone wrote a crossover with Harry Potter in their ship.

So, with that in mind, what is similar between me and Tom Riddle?

The special interests.

The obsession with collecting unique items.

The intense hyperfixation on his interests that causes him to monologue for ages about them in relation to himself.

Being exceptional at hiding how he really feels behind a mask to trick people into thinking he's normal like them.

Learning the right words to say to get by even if he thinks they're foolish or nonsensical.

Struggling with understanding emotions either from himself or others, and misconstruing what others are feeling based on his limited understanding.

Making his whole personality revolve around the Thing he's good at(Dark Magic).

Having no tolerance for other people because they cannot keep up with him.

Now that I am forced to come to terms with these things about myself, and even more things, thanks to a lot of help from others, I can't not review everything I'd ever shown interest in. Like, all of my favorite characters end up falling along the lines of depressed character, anxious character, or Autism-coded character. Or all 3 in a character. And I have all these issues and technically should be medicated for some but can't afford it.

And the thing is, I have considered similar characters to Tom, wondering if I'm projecting onto his type of character.

I like Hannibal, the TV show. My favorite character is Will Graham. And would you happen to know that he is depressed, anxious, and very Autism-coded? But the character in Hannibal, that Tom is most like, is actually Hannibal himself. And the ship for Hannigram feels very similar at times to the Harrymort ship, which is why a lot of people ship both.

But if I was to line Tom up beside Hannibal and consider what I know about both of them in relation to my undiagnosed Autism, Tom is the one who feels like he could be Autistic. Hannibal does not. Even with his special interests and masking and monologuing, and all their similarities on the Potentially Autistic List, Hannibal doesn't give me the same vibe. Will does, but not Hannibal.

So, I don't think this is me forcing the 'misunderstood Autistic villain trope' onto Tom. I think it's just that I've gained a new perspective on myself, and it has forced me to reevaluate everything I know about who I am and what I like and what draws me to those things in the first place.

It's kind of like how I liked Severus Snape as a character, long before I realized that I was depressed and that he was also depressed(I was 10 when I started the HP books). Like, the day I finally realized that I had depression(I was 17) and that wanting to kill myself and trying to are actually suicidal issues that I need help for, I thought of Snape. And a lot of things clicked.

Gaining a new perspective on yourself gives you new perspectives on everything else.

I am interested in pursuing these new thoughts in fanfic form in the future, ngl. And my reads of Tom going forward are going to be a lot more nuanced.

[the-bored-bat]

Domestic life calls

Will Graham x fem!reader

(Totally self indulgent lol 😂)

Warnings- some angst but mostly

Fluff and light spoilers for S2.

You and Will had been dating for about a month now when you start staying the night more often then usual.

Will always has nightmares and you don’t mind because you know the hell he’s been through. It was 2:46am when Will begins to toss and turn. His side of the bed is drowning in sweat as he hyperventilates.

You wake up from his tossing only to find him panicking in his sleep.

“Will! Will! Sweetheart wake up.” You shake him until he bolts up looking around the room to be met by your eyes shining against the warm lamp light.

“I-I’m up, sorry did I wake you?” You shake your head, lying.

“No, I heard you panicking and thought it be best to wake you from whatever nightmare you had” Will looks up as you as you can almost sense another apology coming

“Don’t apologize, you are safe now and you didn’t wake me.” You hold Will close as he lays on your chest, listening to your heartbeat. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He shakes his head and wraps him arms around your waist as he puts soft kisses on your shoulders. “I’m just happy it wasn’t real.”

You hold him and run your nails through his hair, he takes deep long breaths as his kisses slowly stop. He begins to fall back to sleep as your nails run up the base of his skull.

No one was here to bother you. No Hannibal, no Jack, no Chiliton and no work. It was just you, Will and his many dogs. It was peace, your own slice of heaven. In this moment Will never was framed and he was just your boyfriend.

You watch his chest rise and fall as you lay there making sure he was sleeping peacefully before even thinking about falling back to sleep. You couldn’t sleep though. This was the only time Will could feel like himself and feel safe. Away from everyone, in our own world as time crawls by. In this moment there was no crime scenes or designs. It was nothing more then a shared moment between lovers.

You watch Will sleep peacefully until finally sleep threatens your eyes as well. You both are asleep.

~~~

Hours fly by until the sun pours through the curtains and Will is kissing you awake.

“MmmMorning Will” you say through a long stretch. He chuckles as he is getting ready for work. You get up as watch him button his shirt up.

“Good morning to you too, my love.” He smells of aftershave and cologne as he leans into your space. You wrap your arms around his neck as you take long breaths of his cologne in.

“God honey, you smell so good.” You nuzzle into his neck but he pulls you away with a chuckle.

“I’m glad, let me get finished getting ready first.” He finishes buttoning his shirt and tying his tie he. Puts his glasses on and begins to walk out of the bedroom. You follow.

He sits at the kitchen table feeding all the dogs and then putting on his shoes. You hand him his coffee with a longer and more passionate kiss then usual. He pulls away blushing.

“Well I-I’ll see you at work dear.”

[cafesanscreme]

A Rei Refined.

I might be in the minority, but I found episode 8 rather refreshing. It was good to revisit some of my earlier musings around ‘affection’ and ‘love’ and ‘permanence’ with Rei as the guide. It was even better to see them settling into this period of ‘acceptance’ not just with themselves, but with what they have. What they have built together. 

I think a lot of the perception from some fans was that they weren’t close — if you’ve read either of my previous thesis statements on this, you might get the sense that I didn’t believe that to be the case, and I’m glad this episode acts as a bit of vindication and helps to do away with that rhetoric. In this era of oversharing, relationships like ‘KazuRei’ where both parties don’t know ‘all your business’ (as my mom would say) are interpreted as being ‘distant’. I even saw someone say ‘they are just acquaintances as far as I’m concerned’ — which sure, we’re all allowed our own interpretation, but for me that has never checked out. Even as someone who is not generally a “shipper” per se,  I’ve always thought to myself: 

‘Kazuki’s room…that’s a bit involved to simply be ‘crashing’ but ok….’  

And I think it all goes back to the concept of happiness and permanence and affection and love.  

Kazuki was forcing himself to remember the negatives which, in turn, forced him to ignore or repress the positives. He didn’t want to be happy in his new life and used an illogical matrix of guilt as punishment. Kazuki actively sabotaged himself and forced Yuzuko into the negative role of ‘happiness gatekeeper,’ he made it so that he was unable to be happy because of her. I noticed early on that a large part of Kazuki’s method for creating distance was telling himself (and Miri) that he was simply crashing at Rei’s. He couldn’t allow himself the happiness of calling it his home, despite the fact that he furnished it, he supplies it, he cares for it …that he’s been living there for at least two years… 

Rei is a bit different. My personal opinion is that Rei has always been the most comfortable of the two in acknowledgement of their ‘permanence’ — not to say that he readily accepted it, because he didn’t, but I personally believe that Rei, internally, folded a lot quicker than Kazuki did. I think his lack of expressiveness came from the fact that he simply never wanted to seem needy, which was fostered by his upbringing. 

At the same time, Rei  also uses his upbringing, his mechanical and emotionless delivery, and his closed off nature as a shield and an excuse. His behavior is often easily explained away by Kazuki, us as the audience, and even himself, as merely being a consequence of his upbringing. And while it is, Rei does have agency. He chooses to let Kazuki ‘take control’ of his daily care, cut his hair, feed him… and he liked it…likes it. He likes it to the point where Kazuki has been living with him nearly 3 years now… 

The logic might sound weird, but based on how Rei was raised, I think he’d actively chose to seem unappreciative rather than dependent. He isn’t supposed to live for his own higher purpose or his own pleasure. He’s supposed to live for, breathe for, sacrifice for, the organization. Taking pleasure and happiness in something else — seeming to need something else — is not acceptable. And so you get a Rei who is actually wholly appreciative of Kazuki, but at the same time, does not, and in some ways, feels like he can not express his appreciation verbally or outwardly because it would be acknowledging a vulnerability or weakness. 

But it’s very obvious especially after episode 7 that Rei has cared for quite some time now.  To quote Hannibal:  Abandonment requires expectation.  Rei immediately jumping to abandonment speaks loudly to his attachment to Kazuki. And it’s not just because Kazuki cooks and cleans. We see from episode 8 that Rei was fine to live off take-out and in filth. Rei was just missing him. Kazuki not being there, being gone for some reason that wasn’t an assignment, was not something Rei was able to comprehend or to accept in a mature manner. 

We see Kazuki also fears Rei leaving and going back home. A solemn curiosity about what would be a major disruption for Miri yes, but also for Kazuki.

Beyond that though, mutual respect and affection and yes, even love, come with respecting boundaries — accepting that people will share in their own time. But also understanding that a lack of sharing isn’t an indictment on how that person feels about you or how they see you.  Kazuki says he won’t ask and Rei says, he wouldn’t tell and they leave it at that. Kazuki doesn’t push and Rei doesn’t push and neither get offended by the lack of ‘interest’ the other has in their trauma. 

Love and affection are also knowing when it’s OK to ignore some of the more harmful self imposed boundaries like Kazuki did in episode 8 when Rei said he wanted to blow of some steam. Rei likely wouldn’t have gained anything from being alone and stewing in his own self-resentment. Kazuki showing he cares enough to bring Rei back home so they can celebrate his birthday before midnight was helpful in that while sure, it’s ‘overbearing’, it also proved to Rei once again, why he made the choices he made in the conversations with his dad to protect Kazuki. 

If no one, not even his own father cares…Kazuki does. Kazuki will. Rei needed that, in the moment. 

And maybe I am merely overthinking it, but I thought there was something very nice and almost sensual about Kazuki and Rei continuing the birthday celebration despite Miri falling asleep. Rei blowing out the candles with Kazuki as the sole audience and celebrating his 26th birthday with the person who has cared most about him (barring Miri) in his entire life after such an intense day. The whole thing felt..dare I say...romantic.

[hua-fei-hua]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @justpastsaturn~!! man it's been a while since i've partaken in something like this lol

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

63! 64 if you count the random anon one i don't technically write but for which i do overly-elaborate html for a friend. and um. a lot more if we want to also count each chapter of the single-ship ficlet collection works i have as a separate work ehe.

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

heh. 772,261 words since june 2016. C:<

3. what fandoms do you write for?

these days just genshin, but in the past i did jjk, bnha, soul eater, flip flappers, and attack on titan. a number of years ago i also had a fma fic up on ffn, but i deleted it and never ported it to ao3. should still be on my google drive, though.

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

//HEAVY SIGH.

sparklers (BnHA), 939 kudos

Orchid in Bloom (BnHA), 476 kudos

the diner at the end of the night (JJK), 474 kudos

Fermata (BnHA), 413 kudos

Veneer (BnHA), 368 kudos

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

i do!!! mostly it's bc i have can't-shut-up disease, but through the years, i've also found it to be a really good community-building exercise!!!! i'm not the type of person to get involved in fandom discord servers, so i've come to really treasure the friendly environment the comments section of a wip can foster, as well as the friends i've made because of it~

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i am actually a hardcore happy-ending person myself, so pretty much all of them end with some sense of hope. there's a kagerou days au i wrote for bnha back in the day, though, so i guess time looping to die for one another infinitely counts here.

7. what is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

tbh i have a hard time quantifying the happiness of all the different endings i've written, esp since it's been years since i've written simple self-indulgent "and then they all lived happily ever after the end" kinds of endings ahahaha,,,

8. do you get hate on fics?

no but someone impersonating me left a hate comment in my name on a fe3h byleth hannibal au back in may 2021. that was crazy i hope ao3 user dikhotomia is living their best life writing whatever the fuck they want after that incident.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

i wrote exactly one (1) explicit fic which was literally just a 16k word sex scene bc the logical endpoint to xiao genshinimpact's character arc is that he needs to get fucked. i don't make the rules. outside of studying blorbo, though, i don't really feel any compulsion to write smut

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

nah. i'll write fusion aus, where cast a goes into setting b and may or may not try to retell the story of canon b, but i like to put the "transformative" into "transformative works" in those situations, to the point where people sometimes can't tell what story i'm basing the narrative off of LOL

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my memory or knowledge, no.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

yes, several times!! mostly back in my bnha days, where i had one fic (partially) translated into chinese and russian, a different fic reviewed and fully translated into chinese; going even farther back, i also once had a query to translate one of my snk fics into french, but i never really heard back from that person so i assume that one fell through.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

i'd say yes. there's the aforementioned fic i do the overly-elaborate html for, but also back in high school, a couple friends n i sat around my computer between rounds at a speech tournament and took turns turning one of my kouhai's scripts into a bnha fic that kept on going off the rails bc i implemented a "no backspacing" rule and once our turn typing was over, we had to have our hands-off the computer until it was our turn again.

14. what's your all-time favorite ship?

let's just cut to the chase and make this post timeless: i like it when a ship is basically just MONSTER x MONSTER FUCKER. if not on a literal level, then a spiritual/metaphorical level! bonus points if both parties think the other person is the monster fucker!!!!

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

well i actually recently decided to let go of zenith, so i don't really have any "i wish i could finish this" thoughts abt it anymore tbh... i think abt finishing my html sanitizer 2.0 so that i can post the notes for it more conveniently though lol

16. what are your writing strengths?

heh. bitches love my characterization. and imagery/use of metaphor!

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

SOMEONE will probably snipe me if i say poetry, but i still find my poems to be rather stiff and overly-literal, so i still consider poetry to be a weakness of mine. and fight scenes. DEFINITELY #1 weakness fight scenes.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

for a word here or two there, i don't mind as long as it's culturally appropriate. (you will pry my dearly beloved "aiya" out of my cold dead hands) like that's just how people talk in real life. for longer sentences or conversations, then i'd like it if there are translation notes left somewhere. at the very least, i'd kind of like a narrative or aesthetic reason if the meaning can't be parsed from context alone.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

pokemon, if we're counting my being five years old and unaware of what fanfiction is! otherwise, attack on titan or my little pony.

20. favorite fic you've written?

tbh i try not to play favorites w/my fics anymore, since if a darling of mine doesn't get the attention i think it deserves, i end up having a tough time getting over it emotionally, which has sometimes led to unnecessary bitterness and resentment towards the fic or even fandom/community itself.

tagging~ @kanonavi, @cadriona, @tempests-bards-and-birds, @followerofmercy, @chickycherrycola, and anyone else who might feel like it hehe

[theswordwizard]

screenshotting for use instead of forcing them to see hella tags but as someone who has a constant background of narration around special interests going on in their head which eventually will start to run out of "canon compliant" possibilities and start experimenting with crossovers: this is why I struggled for a bit to do a coherent plotty crossover between daredevil and nbc's hannibal. this is another rambling "for me and literally two other people with my interests and way too interested in meta-compliancy" post:

basically: daredevil and nbc's hannibal have conflicting main themes in ways where they don't as easily synthesize into a new coherent theme. nbc hannibal basically amounts to: what does it take for a person to become a 'monster,' or otherwise transform into a version of themselves that would be a terrifying stranger to them previously. and it sort of frames it as... not necessarily a power fantasy, but it frames trauma as something powerfully transformative. you become a version of yourself that can survive/thrive/take control in the hell you've ended up in. you will surprise yourself what you are capable of doing when it's your only option. but at the same time, its a sort of "succumbing" to your situation.

daredevil is almost antithetical to this. matt's whole thing can kinda be summed up as "even after everything, it's still you." you can go through any amount of trauma and still be able to recognize yourself after. you can stick to your principles even when pushed to the limit and come out alive, and being able to do so is important. he IS his principles, and even though he constantly falls short of himself, his struggle is a definitive trait of his. whenever he starts to abandon his principles is always tied to him losing his sense of self.

he cannot win (in the long run) if he abandons who he is, even if it's only an internal struggle. it's especially prevalent in the comics where basically whenever he abandons his principles he has a bit of a flip-out and tries to abandon "matt murdock" entirely, and then struggles to maintain whatever new identity he takes and has a whole identity crisis/mental breakdown. his strength is his stubbornness and refusal to remain fallen from his standard of self.

so obviously, one of these themes need to bend so far it breaks when put together. put matt in range of the BAU/Hannibal's house and its the big book vs thin book meme. in part because matt's biggest struggles in his narratives are against structural violence and systems (not to mention... the smells...). "there's this one evil guy causing 90% of the problems" is again basically antithetical to matt's narratives, or are at the most just his weakest plots.

ALSO, a lot of the murders in hannibal get treated as combinations of three categories (by Hannibal, who I would say has the most Thematic Influence over the show): 1) they basically deserved it and they were better off being dead in whatever form than alive (mason, mischa's killer), 2) what the killer gained from their death was more important than their life (sorta the case of melissa, her death being the photo negative so will could understand the ripper), 3) their death was important to the killed person, they were only able to ascend or transcend something in their death (many of the ripper victims and general murder victims.)

Basically "agreeing" with Hannibal, or adopting his viewpoint, (or basically being 'seduced' by the story) requires viewing deaths in those three ways. It requires a sort of dissociation with the reality of a person dying in any practical matter. any death becomes metaphor and symbolic, and the symbol is more important than the ending of life, it transcends it. this also doesn't rock with matt's themes.

even if you go serial killer AU matt's relationship with violence, and the temptation of committing murder, is based around practicality. it's that killing would technically be the most efficient way of stopping someone from hurting other people ever again. it's how he could cut through the red tape and financial security that protects fisk or fisk's stand-in, the way they've manipulated systems of supposed justice to hurt people (and specifically innocents), and just end it for good. obv in cases where that does happen (by his hand or others) it again leans into the fact that there is no single bogeyman that can be killed to stop evil or whatever. if fisk dies, there is a replacement to that power vacuum, if matt steps into that role to try and control it, he fails miserably.

hannibal approaches the seduction of murder with: and it's actually awesome? while daredevil approaches it with: it won't actually help you, and it won't fix anything. you will only destroy yourself. both of the (shows at least) fixations on catholicism also have parallel approaches with hannibal encouraging you to become your own god and daredevil reminding you that you aren't. will is basically betrayed by his friends and community while matt is consistently supported by his.

ultimately, nbc hannibal is very metaphorical and artsy and pretentious (i say lovingly) while daredevil is like. How Would Superpowers Effect The Local Law Economy.

[for-hunger]

Excerpt from the Hannibal/Will t4t forcemasc project that I started writing a few weeks ago / that brought me back to tumblr. H is late twenties, W is early twenties, W thinks H is cis but he is not (gaslight gatekeep girlboss).

He swallows his PBR. “I’m not a good transsexual anyways. I’m always forgetting to do my shot. People probably think I’m not dedicated to the whole project.”

“And why do you think that is?” H asks. “If it’s not that you’re not ‘dedicated’, as you say.”

W’s eyes flicker to look at him, shining dark in the pink light. “It’s a daily process. A kind of coping with- grief. Grief at the kind of life I’ll never have, like those guys are living, like you’ve seen in every movie and every book about gay men in my life.” He looks up at the group of cisfags at the bar. Two of them, a couple, look like brothers, one slightly squarer than the other. The same olive skin and bleached hair. He’s running his hand over the larger one’s chest, smiling. H wants to see what it’d be like to cut into that mouth. He wants W to watch him.

“They’re stinking with purity.” W says, his tone low with jealousy and, H notes with satisfaction, something more base. “Rank with unconscious belief.” He sips his beer again, calms himself. “Sometimes I can barely pull myself out of it.” He continues, “the process of denying to myself that I still have this kind of body. It was easier in high school, then I just, uh, wasn’t present.”

“Why do you see it as a denial?” H asks, honestly. “Why shouldn’t your body be just as naturally masculine as those?” He inclines his head towards the bar.

W shakes his head. His messy hair is halo’d around his head, his uneven shadow emphasizing his jaw. “It’s just how the world works. You wouldn’t know.”

A beat of silence. H asks, “And do all of us live in the same world?”

W gives him a suspicious look, his mouth twisting, brow furrowed.

“When I look at you, I see the potential for something vastly larger and more complex than anything contained in the daydreams of a few New Jersey twinks.”

W snorts. “The fuck is that supposed to mean? You changed your mind about diagnosing me, Doctor Lecter? Gonna tell me how I’m depressed and uhh, bipolar, and I need to go talk to an old hippie lady on the Upper East Side an hour a week?”

H doesn’t take the bait. “No. I’m proposing that I can help you. If you ask me to.”

H’s proposal works like this:

H will do W’s shot for him.

H will teach him basic exercises, to be carried out daily. He will film this, or do it in front of him.

W will use language for his body that doesn’t harm him.

W will reflect on what he might change or advance about his transition.

W’s orgasms will be at H’s mercy, he will not touch himself without permission, and H will administer physical punishments for infractions and oversights. W looks at him incredulously, but there’s a telltale excitement in his eyes. The boy’s had a dom before, but not like this. “You are doing violence to yourself when you deny your manhood, W. I propose we use violence for other purposes.”

H traces his long fingers up W’s thigh. “And then there are the means of influence other than violence.”

“Sugar to help the medicine go down.” W says, sounding less comfortably jaded than he wants.

“If you must.” H, his arm around him now, tugs at his hair. “And we’ll cut this, I think. For now.”

“You’re adding more conditions.” W points out.

“Our plan will evolve as you yourself evolve.” H says.

“And the same rules stand? Colors, safeword, et al?”

“Certainly.” H traces across W’s scalp, pushing the hair back from his brow. “This isn’t a contract, W. It’s a promise.”

[hayleythecannibal]

Twisted Minds: Act II- Chapter Twenty-two Shiizakana

TW: Crime scenes, Gore, Implied Death, Death, Attempted Murder, Cannibalism, Guns, Animal Death, Mental Heath,

Warning this is Fem!reader. You can also find this on Wattpad and A03 under the name @HayleyMarieOfficial. Comment if you want to be added to the taglist.

Taglist: @punkin-time @miaowkitty @gabriella-aesthetic @urlocalfanficwriter @dilfdemolisher

Twisted Minds Masterlist

In the solitude of the snowbound woods,  WILL GRAHAM Standing, his breath coming in frosted clouds. He stands above a rope loosely coiled on the ground. We follow it to – HANNIBAL LECTER Standing in the snow, tied securely to the base of a maple tree. The rope is looped around his throat, pulling his head tight to the tree, and then continues in multiple turns around his torso before leading back to Will.

“Which answer is it you want to hear, Will?”

“What’s happening now and about to happen is an answer. I want an admission. Admit what you are.”

“Must I denounce myself as a monster while you still refuse to see the one growing inside you?”

Not the answer Will wants. He WHISTLES and the rope begins to uncoil until it SNAPS taut, three feet off the ground. The rope goes taut and, with it, the coils around Hannibal CREAK

as they tighten, slowly rolling round him like a python's coils, until finally the rope tightens on his throat. Will turns and now we see the rope leads several feet to – THE BLACK STAG Facing away from Hannibal, leaning, but not pulling, waiting docilely for direction.

He strains against the squeeze, catching his breath. “Why not appeal to my better nature?”

“I wasn't aware you had one.”

“No one can be fully aware of another human being unless we love them. By that love we see potential in our beloved. Through that love we allow our beloved to see their potential. Expressing that love, our beloved's potential comes true. I love you, Will.”

Will has heard enough. He WHISTLES again, shrill and loud. The black stag starts trudging forward. VEINS bulge in Hannibal's forehead, but he doesn't cry out or protest. His eyes never waver from Will's.

“I once promised you a reckoning.” Will arrives at the tree, face to face, not with Hannibal, but --

THE WENDIGO Its eyes stare… HOOVES Clop ahead… THE WENDIGO is Unblinking. Soulless. WILL GRAHAM Stares back, not frightened. Undeterred. “Here it is.”

To which the Hannibal/Wendigo is tied, a final CREAK of rope and PFFT -- an unexpectedly-huge FAN OF BLOOD erupts from the hidden side of the tree.

WILL GRAHAM'S HOUSE - BEDROOM - NIGHT -

Will awakens, Y/N Beside him, calmly opening his eyes to stare into middle

distance. No solace comes from Hannibal's dream death. Will is sweat-soaked. The dream still real and present.

HANNIBAL LECTER'S OFFICE - NIGHT-

Will sits in the chair across from Hannibal, mid-session. “Do you have any regrets?” Hannibal observes the man in front of him. “With every choice lies the possibility of regret. However, if I choose not to do something, it's usually for a good reason.”

“I'm riddled with regrets.” 

“A life without regret would be no life at all.” Hannibal says insightfully. “I regret what I did in the stables.”

“Then you were lucky Y/N and I were there.”

“Being lucky isn't the same as making a mistake. Allowing you both to stop me was a mistake.” As much as Will loves Y/N the urge to kill itches the back of his skull. Little did he know it scratched hers too.  “Then it's not your actions that you regret. It's the lack there of.”

“That would be more accurate.”

“Did you make that decision on the basis of anticipating the regret you would feel taking another life?”

“Yes.”

“Anticipating regret commonly results in dubious decisions. You must adapt your behavior to

avoid feeling the same way again.” Will adjusts in his seat. “Adapt. Evolve. Become.”

“I want you to close your eyes, Will, and imagine a version of events you wouldn't have regretted.” Will closes his eyes. When he opens them, we are --

ANIMAL RESCUE - LARGE-ANIMAL BARN - NIGHT-

Will stands holding his gun on Clark Ingram. A SERIES OF QUICK SHOTS: A BULLET ROTATES into the chamber. The TRIGGER is SQUEEZED. The HAMMER SLAMS FORWARD. The BARREL EXPLODES. His head SNAPS BACK, blood spraying as bullet exits skull.

HANNIBAL LECTER'S OFFICE - NIGHT-

Will sits opposite Hannibal, as before. He opens his eyes. “What did you see?”

“A missed opportunity. To feel like I felt when I killed Garret Jacob Hobbs. To feel like I felt when I thought I killed you.” Will admits, no emotion emmiting from his expression but pure honesty. 

“And what does that feel like, Will? Excitement bumping in your chest like a cold medallion?”

“I felt a quiet sense of power.” Hannibal studies Will for a brief moment, then: “Good. Remember that feeling.”

HANNIBAL LECTER'S OFFICE - NIGHT-

Will exits Hannibal's office building, his head down, heavy in thought. As Margot approaches: smiles and it's lovely “I tend to walk out of this building in a similar state. You must be a patient of Dr. Lecter's.”

Will nods. Goes to walk away. Aware Margot is now looking at him intensely. Will knows what is coming and wants to avoid it. “Are you famous or are we friendly?”

“I'm sorry?” Will’s Brows furrow. “You look familiar. Either I know you or I know of you.”

“I'm the guy who didn't kill all those people.” Will moves off leaving Margot considering who it was she crossed paths with just now.

REST STOP - DAY-

Bloodied and sprawled on his back across the cab roof, his head hanging over its edge, throat ripped open. Blood and innards emanate like the spokes of a bicycle wheel. find ZELLER and PRICE atop platforms on either side, inspecting the truck cab roof and the body, respectively. Jimmy takes photos. Zeller inspects the near-empty torso. “No guts, no glory.”

“There Are guts. They're over there.” Jack flanked by Will Graham and Dr. Lecter. Followed By Y/N. “It snowed all night. There are no tracks. You sure it was an animal?” Will asks uncertainly.

“Severance of the jugular and carotids, esophagus destroyed. The bite almost severed his head.” Zeller makes a point. “Evisceration was performed by large, non-retractable claws, so we're looking at a wolf or a bear.” Jimmy says as he tilts his head. 

“Whatever it was, it wasn't afraid of humans. Not anymore.” Will eyes the corpse-icle on the cab of the truck. “Wolves and bears don't eat where they kill. They would've dragged him off.”  I say as i study the body from where i stand. 

“Unless it went mad. A rabid animal attacks its victims at random and doesn't eat any part of them.” Hannibal says with curiousity.  Zeller's gaze darts from the body to the organs spread

around, the torn flesh. “There was no eating here. We found just about everything. Viscera was exposed, belly was laid open, but no sign of gnawing or rutting.”

“Found the same wound patterns on recent livestock mutilations in the area. Evisceration, dismemberment, yet everything accounted for.” Jimmy points out. 

“Since when does the FBI get involved in animal attacks, Jack?” My head Tilts in confusion as i turn to jack. “When somebody's holding the leash of whatever's doing the attacking.” Jack states. I take a deep breath. Well that ones new. 

“The livestock mutilations... that was practice.” Will says in thought next to me. Jack nods. “He's going to kill again and he's going to get better at it.” “He's urbanizing his animal – moving closer to the city, adapting it to bigger prey.”

“He's not denying its natural instincts, he's evolving them.” Jack studies Will and Hannibal's exchange, then adds: “It's blood sport.”

MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY – DINOSAUR ROOM - DAY-

Held delicately in a MAN'S FINGERTIPS. RANDALL TIER fitting the tooth into a sabertooth cat skeleton He's re-articulating. He's bright-eyed and engaged with the predator he's honoring with restoration. He senses a presence in the room and glances behind him. “Museum's closed.” HANNIBAL LECTER Standing in half-shadow. Randall is caught off guard, but he covers quickly and manages a half smile.

“Hello, Randall.” Randall Tier is surprised by his visitor. “Dr. Lecter.”

Hannibal steps out of the shadows. Fossilized bones of all sizes are arranged on display. Hannibal takes them in, his gaze landing on Randall's sabertooth skull. “You'll always be ruled by your fascination with teeth.”

“That's what you said to me when they brought me into your office the very first time.”  Hannibal tilts his head slightly. “Is that what I said?”

“I was crying, dreading telling you what was wrong with me. You made it easy then, and other visits, too.” Tier states as he recalls the memory. “Do you remember what I told you, Randall? If you try, you can remember everything we ever said.”

“You said you felt like you peeked in my ear and could see what I am.” Hannibal draws closer, almost fatherly. “A therapist's life is equal parts counsel and curiosity. We set a patient on a path, but are left to wonder where that path takes them. You've come so very far, Randall.”

“A long time since you treated me.”

“Which is why I wanted to talk to you about your wonderful progress, just for a moment, privately. I've seen what you've done.” Tier tilts his head. “What have I done?

“You bore screams as a sculptor bears dust from the beaten stone. That crying boy doesn't cling to you anymore. What clings to you now? What clings to your teeth?”

“Ragged bits of scalp trailing their tails of hair like comets.”

“Beautiful. They're looking for you.” quiet voiced ”I don't think I can stop.”

“I don't want you to. They're going to find you, Randall. When they do, it's important that you do exactly what I say.” OFF Randall Tier and a response he never expected to hear.

BEACH - DAY-

THE BONFIRE Has been reduced to ash. Around its black smudge, AGENTS process the scene. Zeller confers with Jack over the forensics of the slaughter. Will consults the POLICE REPORT in his hand and walks the periphery of the scene. I look from one dead body, past it to the trees where the attacker hid, lying in wait. I look down the beach to where MORE AGENTS work another body.

Who breathes deep and exhales. He closes his eyes. We hear the slow THUD of his heartbeat. The AMBIENT HUM of his CIRCULATORY SYSTEM. A PENDULUM Swings in the darkness of Will Graham's mind, keeping rhythm with his heartbeat. FWUM. FWUM.

Eyes still closed, the PENDULUM swings behind him. FWUM. Jack, Y/N and the BAU agents are gone. FWUM. THE DEAD FIRE ASH SMOLDERS and GLOWS and FLAMES sprout and grow larger. Daylight FADES FAST, replaced by pitch-black night. FWUM. The YOUNG COUPLE reappear around the flames, alive and talking. The scene has been decriminalized in Will Graham's head and the previous night restored.

He watches the young couple standing near the bonfire, cuddled. As CAMERA PULLS BACK, reveal the BLACK STAG stepping out of the shadows behind Will. Together, Will and his black stag watch the couple on the beach. The man stops, glancing their direction from around

the bonfire. He takes the woman's hand and looks closer. A moment, then: “Kill.”

The black stag charges across the beach. BAM. The black stag HITS the man, hard, his hand snatched out of the woman's hand, violently driving him into the

ground in a vicious POUNCE. Goose down EXPLODES from his coat and his torso is slashed again. The woman SCREAMS. They SLASH THROUGH FRAME, cutting off the woman's 

Warm blood SPRAYS across snow, melting it in crimson streaks. Warm blood SPRAYS into the fire, SIZZLING.

they're attached to Will who is covered with blood -- as it was his antlers that just tore out the woman's throat. He looks down at her dead body, his EYES BLACK. The antlers are RECEDING into his body. He blinks and his EYES RETURN TO NORMAL. Night becomes day. 

BEACH - DAY-

Will opens his eyes and Y/N and Jack nearby. “It's not an animal. It's a man who wants to be an animal.”

“Does he believe he's an animal?” Jack asks the both of us, I glance at Will. “It's not what he believes, it's what he imagines.” I say in an almost thoughtful voice. “Considering the savagery of the attacks, he's clean and organized. Meticulous, even. What does he want?”

“He wants to maul. This isn't personal. He doesn't know them. He doesn't need to know them.

They're just meat to him. Prey.” Will says as he approaches closer to us. “This kind of psychosis doesn't just slip through the system. Someone somewhere would have noticed.” 

“If it is psychosis, he got inside it somehow. Tamed it, made a suit of it. He's an engineer. Or understands engineering. He can build things. He built his beast. He's a student of predators.” Jack taking that in...

BAU – EVIDENCE PROCESSING - DAY-

Brian Zeller and Jimmy Price stand opposite Jack Crawford, between them a CAVE BEAR SKULL and a DIRE WOLF SKULL. “The closest comparative bite radius we could match to the victims' wounds was a cave bear.” 

“Even a dire wolf, which is the largest species in the genus Canis, is itty-bitty by comparison.”

“But a cave bear couldn't do this.”

“Mostly because they're vegetarians and have been extinct twenty-eight thousand years.” Jimmy says with sass. “Mostly because the bite force relative to skull size couldn't do the kind of damage we've seen.” Zeller states as he opens the jaw. “What could?” Jack crosses his arms, Zeller shrugs “Pull-ratchets or pneumatics, maybe.”

“Pretty sophisticated ingenuity for any kind of animal, man or beast.” Jack finds Hannibal and I standing in the doorway. “Animals are far more like humans than we ever realized. And humans are far more like animals. One thin barrier between us.” Hannibal explains with insight.

“For some, that barrier's too thin. Hello, Dr. Lecter, Dr. L/N.  How does something like this present?” Jack asks us, i take a deep breath. “Someone affected by this kind of species dysphoria typically has other conditions. Mood disorders, clinical depression, schizophrenia.” I suggest, when one wants to be beast there are not many  studied. “Typically.”

“They may not present at all. Your killer could have built a bridge between who he appears to be and what he now knows he's become.” Hannibal expresses in his expertise.

“He didn't build a bridge, Dr. Lecter. He built a suit.” Jack explains, my eyes widen. This is a first. Like for the fucking unit first.  “What he seeks is transformation.”

“You ever see anything like this?” Jack asks.  I hesitate, as Hannibal guides me and Jack a few feet away for privacy:

“This threatens to be a violation of doctor-patient confidentiality, so I will tread carefully.” Hannibal says, of course it does. Great. He treated another one of our killers. “You have seen something like this.”

“Years ago, I treated a patient who fits this profile. A teenage boy who suffered from what I would describe as an identity disorder.” Hannibal explains, I adjust my posture. Heels are a bitch. “This boy imagined himself a beast?”

“During our therapy, he reported a moment of clarity. He understood, in that moment, he was an animal born in the body of a man. He kept a solitary life. He'd hide and behave in ways resembling animal behavior. Predatory.” Hannibal describes the paitent. My brows furrow in thought. “He was delusional.”

“Not necessarily. He didn't believe metamorphosis could physically take place, but that wouldn't stop him from trying to achieve it.” Hannibal shakes his head and explains. “He'd be a grown man now?” Jacks brows also furrow. “As he grew in wisdom and in confidence, he would no longer feel he had to meet his needs in hiding.” Hannibal says, His hand grazes my spine. Fuck. 

“What are his needs, Dr. Lecter?”

“Savagery.”

MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY – DINOSAUR ROOM - DAY-

Jack Crawford, Will Graham, and Dr. Y/N L/N the TYRANNOSAURUS looming over

them, wait as Randall approaches them. “Randall Tier?” the man nods “You wanted to speak to me?”

“I'm Special Agent Jack Crawford with the FBI. This is Will Graham and Dr. Y/N L/N. Did you put this together?” Jack gestures to the SABERTOOTH CAT skeleton. Now completed, it stares sightlessly at Will who gazes back. “Yes.” Jack admires a wall of various skulls. “Nice work. What's this one here?”

“A cave bear.” Jack considers that good-naturedly, then: “Ever put one of them together?”

“Put them together, take them apart, put them together again.” Tier shrugs, i notice his nervous body language. “Then you understand their mechanics, how they're engineered?” Jack smiles.

“We understand a lot about cave bears. Their fossils have been found in the tens of thousands, all over southern Europe. They're very common. Common enough you can get one on eBay. "Buy it now."” Tier says with sarcasm.  “I'm asking, Randall, because the skull of a cave bear was recently used as a murder weapon. At least its jaws were. Claws, too.” 

“Prehistoric skulls and claws were designed to do what they do best.” Tier says, I watch as he fidgets.  “Used the right tools for the job.” Will speaks up. “But it's what's inside the skull that tells you what the job is.” 

“You have a history with trouble inside your skull, Mr. Tier.” Randall Tier winces, feeling the slight. “That what this is about? You think I killed someone with a fossil? I had an identity disorder. Doctors told me the internal map of my body didn't match reality. Do you know what it's like when the skin you're wearing doesn't fit?”

“I can imagine.” Irony is it not. Being told whats going on in your mind wwhen youre the one who experiences it. “I know who I am now. I'm much better. I'm socializing. I'm taking my medication. I'm employed. I work very hard. I'm proof mental illness is treatable.” WILL finds legitimacy in Randall Tier's reply, and suspicion.

WILL GRAHAM'S HOUSE - NIGHT-

Will appears in the kitchen doorframe and rattles a spoon in the empty Dutch oven -- as good as a dinner bell. He kissses my temple as I cook dinner. When no dogs come running, he returns and is perplexed by what he sees.

ALL OF WILL'S DOGS Sit facing the front door as one. Is there something outside? Did someone knock? Will makes his way through his pack and slowly opens the door. “Will? Whos here?” I call from the kitchen. 

Will sees Margot Verger climbing out of a LUXURY CAR in his driveway. The dogs erupt into BARKS and Will steps outside, shutting the door behind him, effectively muffling the dogs. “Sorry for the intrusion. We met outside Dr. Lecter's office.”  Margot says as she approaches the house. “I remember. How did you find me?”

“Turns out, you are famous.”

“You're not exactly anonymous yourself, Margot.”

“It's cold. You have any whiskey?”

Will hands Margot a glass of whiskey, taking a drink of his own. I stare at the attractive woman as I take a sip of my whiskey. Will’s hand rests on my upper thigh. “So. What's the heir to the Verger meatpacking dynasty doing at our door?” I ask her with a smile. 

“My brother's the heir, not me. I've got the wrong parts and the wrong proclivity for parts.” there’s Something fresh about her frankness, likeable. “Didn't answer my question.”

“I'm here for a character reference. Patient to patient. What do you think of Dr. Lecter's therapy?” Margot asks simply. But nothing is ever simple with people like her. “Depends what you're in therapy for.” Will says as he take another sip of his whiskey. 

“I'm in therapy for all sorts of reasons. The Vergers slaughter eighty-six thousand cattle a day and thirty-six thousand pigs, depending on the season. That's just the public carnage.” I breath out a laugh. “What's your private carnage?” I ask, i look her up and down. Shes pretty. Very pretty. 

“I tried to murder my brother.” She says, I smile. I Murdered my mother, because she killed my family. Wonder why she wants to murder her Brother. Will studies her, then: “I assume he had it coming.”

“Did he ever. What's your private carnage?”

“I tried to murder Dr. Lecter.” Will says squeezing my  thigh. “I Murdered my mother.” i say blankly. You get used to that reality the longer you live with it. “See, now that's interesting. Did they have it coming?” Will studies her, debates answering that, then decides not to. “What do you think?”

“I can't say that I know.”

“Neither can I.”

“Sounds like we have similar issues. I doubt Dr. Lecter gave you the same advice on murder he gave me.” she smirks, Did hannibal tell her to murder he brother. My head tilts in curiosity. 

“What's that?”

“He told me, if at first I don't succeed, I should try, try again.”

WOODS – NIGHT-

RANDALL TIER Stands on a snowbound rise, concealed by trees. His killing suit is on, the jaw-mask strapped on and primed to work. Hannibal standing in the snow beside him, facing the same direction.

“The solitude of what you do is to be respected and I intend to honor that. I've only come to offer you words of encouragement.” Tier says nothing. In his killing suit, in this state of mind, there are no words. Hannibal senses as much.

“You are becoming, Randall, and this beast is your higher self. Your bodies, voices and wills are one.” Hannibal looks past the killing jaws, into Randall's eyes. “Revel in what you are.”

His words ring of the same encouragement Hannibal has given Will Graham and Margot Verger both. Tier remains silent as he and Hannibal turn to the site they were facing before – WILL GRAHAM'S HOUSE Its windows lit warm and yellow from inside.

WILL GRAHAM'S HOUSE - NIGHT-

Through the kitchen door, Will enters the room to see: HIS DOGS Sitting again, all facing the front door. Will crosses directly to the entrance. But this time the stoop is empty. Nothing but the cold, dark night. Will and his dogs look around, sensing something is amiss.

But ONE DOG takes its instinct one further and BOLTS through the open door and tears off into the darkness. Will and the other dogs pause, uncertain -- until the escaped dog's YELP splits the night. Opening the lock on Will's old gun cabinet. A RIFLE As Will takes it from its rack. He chambers a shell. Two.

WILL GRAHAM'S HOUSE - NIGHT-

Will bounds down his steps in his shirtsleeves, flushed from the safety of his shelter. He follows the line of his DOG'S TRACKS into the deep snow and the deeper darkness. RANDALL TIER

Stands, cloaked in shadow, watching and waiting to face this adversary... and discover how truly worthy he is.

WOODS – NIGHT-

Will enters the trees, armed with his rifle. No movement. No sounds. Tier could be anywhere in the darkness. Behind any tree, concealed by any shadow. Then: SOMETHING MOVES In the snow ahead. Will aims, ready to fire, but sees instead – HIS DOG Lying, injured. Will rushes to the animal to find it slashed and hobbled, but alive. Will scans the darkness around them

and makes a decision. He places his rifle down and scoops his dog up in his arms.

TIER'S SHADOW Flits across a tree trunk. How close to Will, we don't know. WILL Arms full of dog, lumbers fast as he can through the snow.  Tier's shape GLIDES past, searching for the moment to strike. Will and his dog run and stumble, headed for the safety of his house. Tier enters the field behind him and is closing in.

WILL GRAHAM'S HOUSE - NIGHT-

Will BANGS through the door. He places his injured dog down and LOCKS the front door behind him. Will moves from switch to switch, extinguishing the lights before cutting through the sudden darkness to – THE GUN CABINET Where he finds a HANDGUN.

TIER'S SHADOW Crosses the window. WILL'S DOGS Sense his anxiety and they crowd him, uncertain. Sounds come from outside -- a SCRAPE of Tier's clawed feet on the front porch. Will and his dogs face the front door, ready. Will levels his gun at the door. Waits. Then a SHADOW GROWS FAST on the front window and – K-SHHHHHH!

Tier comes hurtling through it in a cascade of GLASS and SPLINTERED WOOD, backlit by the blue moonlight. WILL Recoils and drops, hands flying up to protect his eyes.  His gun Clatters away into the darkness. WILL'S DOGS BARK at the intruder. Will finds his fishing vest on the

floor and fumbles through the many pockets to find – A SHEATHED FILLET KNIFE. Will pulls it out, the narrow blade catches the moonlight.

TIER  Stands, shaking off glass like a dog shaking itself dry. CLAWS SPLAYED, legs apart, ready to face – WILL Rising up, brandishing his knife, facing Tier. his dogs around him, BARKING and SNARLING FURIOUSLY --

A FANGED RESIN MUZZLE AND THE DIRE WOLF CRANIUM Come together to complete the skull. A perfect fit.

SUBURBAN BASEMENT - NIGHT-

Multiple BAU AGENTS sort and bag evidence from the room. Jack and Hannibal walk the length of Tier's workbench. Past air-filling tanks, strips of bear fur, replacement pistons and rods. Jack stops at the reassembled dire wolf skull. “A beast doesn't know it's a beast, but the nearer a man gets to being a beast, the less he knows it.”

“We took the traps from the drains. Found pieces of scalp, hair still attached. Blood, tissue, bone. Whatever he used to kill, he cleaned it here. We have everything we need to convict Randall Tier. Except Randall Tier. He's vanished.”

“That's troubling.”

“You knew it. You knew what he was. He was your patient, Dr. Lecter.”

“Every therapist deals in darkness, Jack. I only learn how accurate my treatments are after the fact. When I hear secondhand that a patient is back on track. Or that they're not. Or that they've taken their own life. Or someone else's. Where's Will and Y/N?” Hannibal asks curiously.

“I haven't been able to reach him.” HANNIBAL tilts his head as he ponders Will's fate...

HANNIBAL LECTER'S HOUSE – ENTRYWAY - NIGHT-

The house is empty. The SOUND OF A KEY in the lock and Hannibal enters. He places his coat over a chair and heads into his kitchen. A beat. Then Hannibal returns, his eyes on something. He starts in that direction.

HANNIBAL ENTERS HIS DINING ROOM Focused on his new table -- specifically, its centerpiece. To reveal what exactly the centerpiece is: atop Hannibal’s dining room table lies, sprawled – RANDALL TIER Dead. Still clad in his now-defunct killing suit -- a warrior's battle gear sapped of its mechanical ferocity.

HANNIBAL Walks a circle around the table. He considers the offering. One akin to a mouse left by the cat for its master. Hannibal surprised by Will Graham a second time ---- and pleased.

[stellagibs0ns]

Did Bedelia fo to Florence with Hannibal willingly? Why do you think she went with him?

there are a handful of different versions of how it went down it my head depending on whether i’m writing something or just spinning ideas. so let me jump into this!

first of all is what i think canonically happened! i believe that bedelia adjusts to her situation by going with what benefits her the most. she is very quietly opportunistic. at that moment in time, it was within her best interests to go with hannibal. yes she had a gun on him, but realistically that would not make a difference. she’s like 5’3 and bird boned and he is a UNIT. but that is besides the point.

i think a lot of bedelia’s Thing with hannibal is that she is indebted to him. at the most basic level, she killed a patient and he helped her get away with it. she knows what he is and what he’s capable of, and it would be indecorous and generally dangerous for her to say no to him. that’s why she continued to treat him as well as leave for italy with him. she is simply not in a position to say no to him, because too much is on the line. her life included.

that being said! i think a part of her enjoyed it. living a life of luxury and playing house with him. gillian said that there’s a certain degree of arousal in all of her feelings, and i think that’s absolutely true. so, while she only went to italy for her own safety and with the intentions of repaying a debt, i think a very hidden part of her enjoyed it.

second theory that i tend to lean on more when writing is simply that she’s infatuated by him. they have an extensive history that sadly wasn’t explored in the show. in this instance, i don’t believe she went with him because she was in love with him in the romantic sense, but in the sense they are two similar people with a history and a bond. that comes before romance for her. and i think there’s a very deep understanding between the two of them, and leaving for italy would give them the space to hone that. and obviously dip into romantic territory. we know verrrrry little about bedelia’s personal and social life, but i think it’s fair to say that the connection she has with hannibal is one of the most important in her life.

going with him to italy would be a way of honouring that connection. he trusted her enough to go to her for help, and in this scenario, she cares too much to turn him down. their history is too complex. plus, she doesn’t want to lose him entirely. being there with him means she can keep him in check (because really she’s one of the few people who CAN do that). he put his trust in her and he needed her around and she felt it was her duty to be there for him

these are two very messy ideas based on what i consider canon vs my alternative theory and i probably could’ve worded it better. but it’s 2am and if i think too much about them my brain will probably just explode.

thank u for the ask though 🥰

[helly-watermelonsmellinfellon]

Just a random thought I had.

I've been spending a lot of time recently going over what I know about myself and my behaviors and the way I have existed my entire life, and have been slowly coming to terms with the fact that I probably have undiagnosed Autism(and ADHD) and I will never have the money to get a proper diagnosis for this because being able to get to just a regular doctor is a luxury that I do not have.

As such, I have been putting all of my interests into perspective and thinking more clearly about the characters I like in the pieces of fiction I like, and trying to draw similarities between them and how they behave, compared to me and how I behave.

This brought me to Tom Riddle, clearly.

The special interests(Dark Magic).

The obsession with collecting unique items.

The intense hyperfixation on his interests that causes him to monologue for ages about them in relation to himself.

Being exceptional at hiding how he really feels behind a mask to trick people into thinking he's 'normal' like them.

Learning the right words to say to get by even if he thinks they're foolish or nonsensical.

Struggling with understanding emotions either from himself or others, and misconstruing what others are feeling based on his limited understanding.

Making his whole personality revolve around the Thing he's good at(Dark Magic).

Having no tolerance for other people because they cannot keep up with him.

Now that I am forced to come to terms with these things about myself, and even more things, I can't not review everything I'd ever shown interest in. Like, all of my favorite characters end up falling along the lines of depressed character, anxious character, or Autism-coded character. Or all 3 in a character. And I have all these issues and technically should be medicated for some but can't afford it.

And the thing is, I have considered similar characters to Tom, wondering if I'm projecting onto his type of character.

I like Hannibal, the TV show. My favorite character is Will Graham. And would you happen to know that he is depressed, anxious, and very Autism-coded? But the character in Hannibal, that Tom is most like, is actually Hannibal himself. And the ship for Hannigram feels very similar at times to the Harrymort ship, which is why a lot of people ship both.

But if I was to line Tom up beside Hannibal and consider what I know about both of them in relation to my undiagnosed Autism, Tom is the one who feels like he could be Autistic. Hannibal does not. Even with his special interests and masking and monologuing, and all their similarities on the Potentially Autistic List, Hannibal doesn't give me the same vibe. Will does, but not Hannibal.

So, I don't think this is me forcing the 'misunderstood Autistic villain trope' onto Tom. I think it's just that I've gained a new perspective on myself, and it has forced me to reevaluate everything I know about who I am and what I like and what draws me to those things in the first place.

It's kind of like how I liked Severus Snape as a character, long before I realized that I was depressed and that he was also depressed(I was 9 when I started the HP books). Like, the day I finally realized that I had depression(I was 17) and that wanting to kill myself and trying to are actually suicidal issues that I need help for, I thought of Snape. And a lot of things clicked.

Gaining a new perspective on yourself gives you new perspectives on everything else.

[sunnydreams17]

Hey so I wanted to publish some of my writtings around! I hope whoever reads it likes it. This is just for fun and I write a lot of stuff from different fan bases like " Hetalia", " Dramatical Murderer" and so on. This one is a fanfic from the show " Hannibal " so I hope you enjoy! Also forgive me for spelling and punctuation mistakes i'm still trying to get better at that ))

" art is my passion...art is my life, my work, my very being.

I turn pigs into art and this animal is now my art. She was disrespectful~ and as I ripped her flesh open and broke her bones to make her into something higher then she once was I can't help but feel still dissatisfied.

When will I get to make my final art work? When will I find myself a beautiful swan hidden among these pigs? When will I get to make this swan my final statement?

My dissatisfaction turns into disguest as I started to become rough with the pig. Making the art work more messy then anything. Yet still it was art and as I cut away her heart and held it gently in my hand I smile. At least this pig will be of good use after all. In art work she is nothing to me because she isn't my swan that I wish for but in food she will be something very useful indeed.

This is my design~ "

" Will..... Will.....WILL "

Will snaps out of his trance fast. His eyes widening a little as he takes in a deep breathe looking up at the stairs to the gruesome crime scene. A woman lays there stomach open as flowers lay in it. Roses, tulips, marigolds, and forget-me-nots. They looked as if they were growing out of the woman. The golden blood that dripped down from the woman falls onto the stairs as bones from her body litter the stairwell making it seem like the bones were trying to lead you to the main attraction. " what Jack? " Will sighs and turns away from the scene in front of him. Usually he wouldn't be effected by any of this but as of lately he felt like it was getting at him.

" what did you see? You were under for a long time that means you saw a enough" Jack, who was Wills boss stood beside the man looking up at the scene on the stairs. Jack was the head of the " Royal FBI Unit" it was a Unit ran by the king to make sure craziness didn't go around in the kingdom to much but there was other reasons for this Unit as well " what's our killer like? What type of crazy? "

" A person of art " Will finally said and turns back to the scene making sure he made room for other agents to start a proper investigation " their smart, educated, and someone that sees society differently"

" so their an educated sociopath that likes art? That narrows it down greatly Will" Jack rolled his eyes and frowns " that won't get us no where!

" their different! " Will shouted " this person knows what they want so badly...they want to find their swan! Their.... their needle in the haystack! They see society as pigs and among those pigs is a beautiful swan and they want it....they want to find it and make it there final artwork...they want their swan...

" and they clearly have not found it then " Jack mumbled as he grabs out his phone " which means there will be another killing soon until they find a swan... what do they think their swan will be like? What do they look for in a swan?

" I don't know " that's what confused Will...what did this person want in a swan? This person was educated and clearly loved art. " maybe someone that is on their level? Maybe someone that can be an equal to them"

" an equal? So they can kill their equal? That doesn't make sense Will " Jack puts his phone away " doesn't matter will talk about this more later. I expect to see you at the kings party tonight. Don't disappoint me Will" Jack turns away shouting orders to get the body taken care of and out of the stairs by dusk

Will felt a surge of annoyance go through him but he held his tongue. He knew talking back to Jack was like poking a already angry lion. Will just nods and walked away from the scene. He hated parties more then anything in the world. Parties ment he had to socialize and that was something Will never wanted to do. He rather be home with his dogs while he ate dinner and watched a fishing show. Though life was never that kind to Will because once he got home he went to get ready for this party.

The party was said to be held by the king every few years. The Kings name was Verger and he was known to be somewhat not fully in the head. Though Will never said anything about it because he knew the kings eyes and ears were everywhere. One word about him and he could be killed and Will rather liked living.

As Will stood near the mirror he looked at himself. He found the only suit he had in his closet which you could tell was a little old but it did the job. He pushed back his hair a little making sure his brown curly hair looked decent " just make it through 4 hours and then I can go home " Will mumbled and felt a rub at his leg. He looked down and smiled softly looking at his beloved dog Winston " sorry boy " he pat Winston gently " I'll be back soon just hang in there " he pulled away and grabbed his phone. He walked out of his home walking off to the castle which was deep in the city. God will already hated this but he walked down the cobble stone road and moved aside when drunks walked about or when a horse was rushing down the road.

The trip was long but when Will got to the castle gates he showed his invitation to the guards

" this is old " one of the guards said

" it's the wrong date as well" another said " you can't come in"

Will frowns and looks at the invitation confused " what do you mean? I got an invitation from the king to be here. I'm part of the " Royal FBI Unit" I have a right to be here " Will would have not fought if he wasn't surrounded by other people dressed far to fancy then he was. He felt like a sore thumb sticking out in a crowd of beautiful well dressed people. Will grumbled as he looked at the invitation and saw that he had brought the wrong one. Of course he did! He was a fool after all! He should have doubled checked! " you have my word that I was invited! If I go home now I'll be back here late and you won't be accepting guest at that time anymore! Please " he said softly and didn't want to hear Jack yelling at him like some stupid fool!

" we can't let you in unless you have the right invitation. You'll have to step out the line now sir. Or will have to force you" the guard said and moved his hand down to his sword. Will felt his heart drop a little at the movement of the guards hand. He was about to say something when he heard galloping. Will turns around just in time for a beautiful black carriage to pull up. Though the carriage when it stopped with a sudden jerk made mud splash onto Wills pants. Wills eyes widen in horror as he stood there looking at his now dirty pants. I mean the suit and pants was already so old but fucking hell that doesn't mean he wanted it to be completely ruined! " damn it! " Will backs up and crumbled the invitation in his hands. His had about enough of this night that was for sure. Will looked up at the carriage seeing the beautiful black and white horses and small statues of angels on the very top of the carriage. Whoever was in there must be some snob and will didn't feel like dealing with them. He turns away but before he could fully leave he heard the door open to the carriage and a voice with a heavy accent speak

" excuse me, I'm terriblely sorry for what happened"

Will stopped dead in his tracks and turns around looking over and seeing a well dressed man. A dark red suit with a small back flower in the suit pocket. The man's blond hair almost looking gray was neatly pushed back and his eyes were so beautiful Will had to do a double take .... i mean he hated looking at eyes so he quickly looked away " ....it's fine... I was just leaving anyway "

" no no no that won't do. You're here for the party yes? And I dirty you suit... let me help you. It would be my way of showing how sorry I am " The man smiled softly " come get inside the carriage and once we're inside the castle you can go to my personal room and look for a suit in there "

Will couldn't believe what he was hearing " suit? ... no no that won't be needed and I don't think we're the same sizes... I'll just head h-"

" I Insist " the man smiled a little more " my ex husband left all his suits in my room and you seem about his sizes so no problem there" the man looked at his pocket watch " we best be going soon or will both be late. The king does hate when people are late to his party " and with that the man sat back down inside his carriage and Will had no other choice but to go into the carriage. What confused him was why weren't the guards stopping him like before? Something was off but Will said nothing as he steps into the carriage. Inside was lavished. The seats were soft to the touch and Will felt a little bad having to be the one to sit on such beautiful things. When the door closed he gulped and smelled the soft scent of perfume. It was lovely to the nose. Now being completely alone with this strange man made Will a little nervous but he didn't show " thank you "

" no need to thank me " the man hums and crossed his legs as he looks right at Will. Will darted his eyes away.

" not a fan of eye contact are you? "

" I don't mean to be rude sir... eyes are distracting to me that's all. It's better not to look into them " that was true but also he always saw something in people's eyes that unsettled him.

" I see eye contact as something beautiful " the man taps his fingers against his knee " you know someone better "

The carriage came to a stop and the door opens " I'll see you soon. My room is to the east wing. " he looks at a servant " lead the man to my room " he turns to Will and takes his hand placing a kiss to the fingers tips " a pleasure to meet you " he whispers " I forgot to give you my name. How rude of me I'm sorry" he moves his lips away from Wills finger tips. Wills whole body shivering at the touch. Dear God this man would be the death of him " i'm Hannibal Lector" the man who is now known as Hannibal said

Will felt his mouth go dry but he moves his hand away from the gloved hands and gave a nervous smile " Will Graham " and with that he gets out the carriage fast leaving Hannibal behind as he followed the servant. Will could feel the eyes of Hannibal on him as he walked away and it gave him goosebumps. Though why did Hannibals name ring a bell in his mind? As if his heard or even seen the name before.

..........

Hannibal's room was beautiful and spacious. Who even was this man after all? To have his own room in the castle. He had to be someone important. Will stood in front of the mirror looking at his new suit. It fit like a glove completely on him. It was a dark blue suit and soft to the touch. It was made of silk " gosh.... someone like me shouldn't have something like this on...whoever was this man's husband must be missing out to leave all this behind " will grumbled and looked around the room. Not much of personal things in it expect a few books and maps. Other then that there was nothing else that caught Wills eyes.

.............

The party was in full swing as Will entered through the doors. He frowns at all the high and mighty people around him. All dressed nicely and even though Will was dressed up nicely he still felt like a sore thumb. Though Will knew better then to state that. Will looked around some more spotting the king sitting at his throne with servents and slaves attending to him. The music that was playing was gentle and soft as people slowed waltzed around him. Will made his way to the wine area and only stopped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He felt his skin crawl at the touch and he turns around to see Jack " oh its you " Will sighs and steps back a little

" you're late " Jack held his glass of wine in his hand " you're lucky the king didn't see " he added and turns away " I'm glad you're here though...that's a nice suit too Will, where did you get that?

" a... friend of mine " Will said softly and takes a glass of wine off of the table as he stood beside Jack watching everyone. It was a comfortable silence but after a good 20 mins it broke by the loud sounds of trumpets. That could only mean one damn thing.... the king was about to speak. Will mentally prepared himself as he looked over to King Verger.

King Verger had on a dark purple suit as he stood up tall smiling brightly. " welcome all! To our beautiful party! I welcome all and i say thank you all for coming to spend time with me and my fellow family members! This is grand Ole time we all are having and I just wish to say a few things before we enjoy our night! I wish to first thank my family for being here, I want to thank my beautiful subjects for being here too and now I want to thank my soldiers and fellow army men! As we all know war has stricken our kingdom for years now! Because of our dear red brothers who wish to live without us! But we won't allow them. Our red brothers and sisters need a helping hand they need to be taking care of and used to obey all orders. That's what God put them on earth for after all. They can't win against us~ no one can with our golden blood we are blessed by the gods and blessed to have powers " Verger smiled widely as he raised his glass. People all around will lifted their glass smiling back " we are the higher ones after all. But I can't forget to thank one man who makes the reds shake in fear and that is our dear Warlord.... Hannibal Lector"

Will went cold and he almost dropped his glass. He held it tightly fast to make sure it didn't fall. Hannibal Lector? .... that's why the man's name sounded so familiar...that man was the man to lead the Royal army against the reds..... that man was feared.... and Will knew it because he once lived outside the kingdoms walls. He was a red too... a red was someone that had red blood. They were seen as lower beings and the golds were seen as higher then them because they had golden blood. With golden blood came powers and almost all of the golden population had powers. This world...this kingdom and all kingdoms around were ruled by the color of your blood. Society itself was ruled by the color of your blood. That's why will was always carful because he was a red living as a gold to try to make a better life for himself. If he was found out he could be killed... this was dangerous too now that he has spoken to the warlord himself. The warlord that had millions of red bloods lives on his hands. This war was brutal and the golds were winning...

" no need to thank me your majesty" Will was snapped out of his shock and his eyes fall onto Hannibal " I'm only doing what is good for our kingdom and as you said. Our beautiful red brothers and sisters... the war soon will be over and we will all live in peace once again. I have a very old fashion mind set. I think the reds should stay under us like it's been for centuries...I also think we should take care of them " Hannibal lifted his drink up " soon the war will come to an end and after the battles are all faught we will all drink again to a peaceful world " he smiled and slowly lowered the cup as he drinks from it

Everyone else cheered and did the same drinking from the cup except Will. His hand was shaking just a little as he looked down at his glass. He was in the lions den... worse then before because why did he feel like Hannibals eyes were on him and watching him...as if he was the man's next feast

(( here is the description of the story

Will Graham works for the " Royal FBI Unit" and has always had a special mind that thinks further then a normal mind. Wills life has always been 1 dimensional but that all changes when he meets warlord Hannibal Lector. Now Will needs to be carful and in a world run by the color of your blood things start to take a change for the worse.

what will happen? and is Will going to be able to handle the man called Hannibal Lector.

I will also say that this story has modern stuff in it but it also takes place in a Victorian England type setting but I wanted to add in some of our modern day technology. ))